As I lay here in my room looking outside my ill viewed window I can’t help but think about how this day effects me emotionally. Today for most Americans is a special day full of joy, giving & most importantly the pound of food that we are so
"grateful" to be eating. I can’t speak for everyone but I feel that most people who choose to follow this marketed Holiday could give a shit less of what is behind the turkey, what lies between the sales lines. The thing that really gets me over thinking is this “Do we really need a day to remember how grateful & blessed we are?” Everyday you walk up, go the bathroom, pick clothing to wear for the day is a blessing. As they say “You truly don’t know how good things are until they have been taken away” & sadly some people will never understand that quote until it ‘Happens’.
This year has really changed & tested who I am as a human being, I can’t even begin to tell you how much I have reflected upon myself. I can’t begin to tell you how my eyes have opened to a new point of view, for I was once only looking at the painting blindfolded. But I do understand from these last months that in order to see the whole light of the painting you must go into the darkness to truly appreciate it. I do not feel the need to go into full complete detail about what has happen to me these past months; when a flower in this garden called “life” has weeds all around it, you have two pick; keep that flower there and eventually the weeds will kill its beauty or remove the flower and start a new garden.
I am so thankful for the changes, the opportunities that have came into my life these past months, I can hardly put into words about my feelings. I am thankful that each day I wake up from my warm bed & get to express myself in anyway I want, I can feel anyway I want, I can be whoever I want to be. That I have my mothers family that truly loves me & has been here for me through the easy and difficult, thick & thin. My friends… my god I don’t know what I would do with out all of you, from our deep conversations to our silly inappropriate laughs, you have made me smile & crying at the same time, blood doesn’t always make you family, its loyalty & for that I love you all. I am usually not one to talk much about my love life online but there is a guy that I would like to say is very special to me, he makes me feel all warm inside, every time to the day when I see him I still get butterflies in my stomach. He makes me so happy that its as if the worlds problems have stopped, I am so grateful to have him in my life.
People can’t always say that they have loved school but when I went to beauty school for two years I loved it. When I first started it was an escape from high school, from everything really. I got to meet such amazing staff & students that it really showed be how wonderful and fun my adventure is going to be. Even now that I am done I am still so grateful to all of them & miss them with all my heart. I will never stop being grateful for the people who have supported my weird ass self & things I post online, all of the messages of “great job Hayden” or “you are so talented” have always made a bad day of mine into a great one, its crazy I never thought that I would make friends on social media but I am so happy that I have. I am grateful to be alive, you never will appreciate it until its gone… So make the most of it, other then just eating your heart out stop to smell the roses. I hope you think about the meaning behind the day & may you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving! xoxo